When I moved from the SJ to the Street, I had this mentality that all men would enjoy if I went down on them or was in any other position other than horizontal. I was mistaken. Different men have different tastes. One man told me he could not experiment with anything else because the missionary position is what is recommended in the Bible: that man should face the earth where he came from and woman the rib where she originated.
The son of a former powerful politician is said to pick girls here and take them to a hotel out of town, where he gets sexual thrills burning their naked bodies with hot candle wax without having actual sex. And I have a man who is content fantasising about me without even a touch. Shorty after I wrote about men who fake, someone sent me a link to a New York Magazine article about the effect porn has had on men and their sexual performance. Of interest was a man who showers and dresses up not to go see his girlfriend but to go log in on the internet and watch naked videos of a particular girl. It satisfies him more than sleeping with his girlfriend.
How then is one to write a sex manual in light of these varied and particular needs? Two months ago, I was approached by a lady owner of a new small publishing house. She wanted me to write a sex manual which she would then publish. The manual was to be in the form of ‘ How to…” e.g How to enjoy sex… Or The best…say ‘The best positions…’. I declined for a couple of reasons. There was the issue of time and money, but the main thing was I didn’t feel an authority enough to write a book about sex with a finality of science.
With access to sexual information made easy by the internet and all other media, a sex manual, especially if targeted at an urban suave population, has to go beyond the basics: which parts have all the nerves, how to stimulate the parts, positions, and the like. That said, it doesn’t mean there aren’t men who are clueless and would do with some tips, but hey, a modern sex manual should do something to the brain. I don’t know exactly how to put it, but something close to the way revolutionaries the world over read Malcom X, Che Guevara, Martin Luther, Fanon, and Mandela—not exactly to find a definitive formula for revolution but to nourish their minds and inspire their souls to fight for their causes.
There is basically a template for sexual pleasure, but many times I have seen the template being made nonsense of. I guess there is a limit to the physical pleasure in sex. And the limit is nowadays reached at a relatively young age. I remember reading somewhere that there are only 71 positions that a man and a woman can combine effectively for sex. That could be doubtful but just hints at the limitations of the physical. A large part of the sexual pleasure nowadays comes from who one is sleeping with, the place, circumstances, etc. It’s not something exactly new, only that it’s more common nowadays. So how does one write a manual touching on the new forms of sexual pleasure without seeming to promote cheating, immorality and other ‘crazy’ stuff?
Sex, in my view, is evolving. Its going the collectors or connoisseur way. You know the art collector who purchases a $100 million abstract painting whose meaning a long-dead artist carried to the grave . And the connoisseur who will shed a tear after tasting wine from a particular vineyard. Sex is getting to that special level. So the sex manual which is able to capture these higher level of present-day sex will be the ultimate. And the woman who is able to get to the spiritual level sex will remain relevant.
All the above talk was triggered by The Nairobi Sex Newsletter, an advertiser sent me and asked for my comment in addition to checking the authenticity of the stories it contains. The lead story is How We Please Our Men ( And Ourselves) : Sex Anecdotes by Kenyan women. It contains stories by a group of Kenyan women or more appropriately, Nairobi ladies. The ebook also has tips, some odd sex facts and other such things. On a scale of 0 to 5, and compared to what is presently in the local market, I ‘d give it 3. Refreshing but not revolutionary. An interesting read but which can be greatly improved.
Of course I know by now someone is asking, “Miss Know It All, why don’t you write your own sex manual with all your theories? That I wont do. Nevertheless, at some point soon I might write my Street book with all my anecdotes, thoughts and theories, conspiracy or otherwise. And hopefully that will be the ultimate sex manual.
On a lighter note, today is my birthday. And I will repeat what I have said on this day in the previous two years: “This is my last birthday on the street.”. It’s easier said than done, but I still say it.
(As regards my erratic quick posts of late, I admit I have chewed more than I can bite. My hands are full trying to reap the benefits of the brand. But soon I will be done & back with more consistent posts as I wrap up the year ( and maybe the blog) . Thank you all who keep reading . You have helped me benefit from this brand building in ways you can’t imagine.
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