Episode 50: I Listen

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Another of the unwritten rules here on the street is that a girl is not supposed to comment on the sexual performance of a man after a session. And if she has to, then it has to be in a positive casual manner and not patronising or negative. Patronising in the sense of telling a man, ” You should have thrust a little fast” or other such statements that act to guide. Negative, of course, like it happened in Episode 1: I Cant Feel Your Thing.

The easiest thing for me to do after sex is be all praises about a man’s performance. But many men know of their true sexual ranking, and if I were all praise, it would sound bad, like excess flattery does. So the best option is to sigh after the act, smile coyly and run my fingers on the man’s chest. On the other hand, there are men who want to know their real score. They will ask me straight to the face where their performance lies on some undefined sexual performance scale. ” You are better than some men I know”. I answer them.  Some will admit to being poor in bed with sentences like “I can’t last more than a few minutes; I don’t know why.” In such circumstances, I try to encourage the man by relating him to others, just like in the previous case. “Don’t worry, there are many men like you.” I say . “You are not even the worst” . A feel-good statement that gives a man the impression he is not the odd one out but does not actually solve his problem.

There are men who tell me of their sexual challenges and seek my advice. Sure, from my experience, there are  things I could say  or tips I could give, but I try not to, because when I do, they hang to every of my words like I am sort of  a guru. They develop an emotional connection to me; some want to be emotionally babied, while others want us to meet more often to narrate their progress after following my advice or just pour their hearts out. Yet some I never want to see again because they have bigger emotional issues than I can stomach.

Talking of pouring out the heart, often I meet men who tell me their problems, beginning with the words “I have never said this to anyone else…”. It is easier for a man to talk to our kind since he believes that we may never rise from our present social level to his and so we may never interact socially . And supposedly, being at the bottom of the social and moral hierarchy, we can never be judgmental. Its certain too we wouldn’t go yapping to his friends like the rest of the people he opens up are likely to. A human and better version of the anonymity of the internet.

It is difficult to separate my sex satisfaction, listening, and emotional roles. The problem is that I can only charge for the sex, while sometimes I end up spending more time, thought, and energy listening and counselling. Ironically, it would not be the same if I quit the street and opened a practice to do the same kind of sexual listening and counselling. If I did, no one would come; it’s tied to my job on the street. It’s the informality—no shame, no judgement, straight talk—that encourages men to open up sexually like they never do with anyone else. All that would be lost if there was an office and a business name.

But there are instances when I offer unsolicited advice to men. When what they do bothers me. Like I will always have something to say to men who fake orgasm. Yes there are men who fake and of late, there are many. I still don’t get why a man should fake, at least when with me. A man faking is ridiculous. Giving that sound, then quickly removing the condom. Men who fake have other issues that make them not go all the way when they are inside a woman. These are men who will go soft immediately they are in. Among other things, I tell them to go easy on their fantasies, porn and self-pleasure.


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